“When things get hard, stop for a while and look back and see how far you've come. Don’t forget how rewarding it is. You are the most beautiful flower, more than anyone else in this world.” - Kim Taehyung
As a mother of three and a halmoni (grandma) of one, sometimes I forget to take a break and breathe. I found BTS, or maybe they found me, during a pivotal time in my life when I felt that whatever could go wrong would go wrong. Have you ever felt so sad and lost to the point you just shut everything off and are almost on autopilot? That was me for a straight year; work, spending time with kids, sometimes eating, needing reminders to stay hydrated, etc. Then on October 24, 2019 my youngest and I were flipping through funny videos on YouTube and I saw a thumbnail for Carpool Karaoke not even paying attention to featured guests until the segment started and the first person I noticed was Namjoon (RM). The way his smile lit up his face melted my heart; then they started singing! I was so amazed by Jungkook and Jimin’s voices. I enjoyed J-Hope’s energy, laughed at Jin’s “Ah you a joker guy” along with hearing about the mandu fight between Tae and Jimin; that sounded like a similar fight I’ve had with my little sister and I had tears rolling down my cheeks when Jin, Yoongi and Tae were talking about how they’d watched Friends too, but didn’t know English. After the video was over my youngest was just staring at me. When I asked if I had something on my face they started to cry and said that it had been so long since they had heard me laugh or sing and they missed the sound. I thought I had kept things as normal as possible when in reality I was a living shadow of myself. We stayed up and talked all night, something we hadn’t done in a long time. They told me how they had found BTS and how J-Hope’s story inspired them to keep fighting everyday no matter how hard life got. It is funny how 7 strangers from a completely different country have had such an impact on myself, my family and have even become like family in a way. I am more confident in myself, I love myself a lot more now than I ever have before, I still have my children and we are rebuilding our foundation as a family stronger than before. I have also met a great group of women who have become an extension of our family and we banded together to create a place where we can continue the mission that BTS laid out for A.R.M.Y to inspire and support others.